It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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