i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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