my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize