You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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