**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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