whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
