I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
