Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
