so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
