Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
