Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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