That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
