At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
