yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
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We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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