i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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