It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize