She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
