Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
