So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
