I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
