Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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