If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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