She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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