I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
