i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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