So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
