So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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