Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You're a disaster
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