it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
