"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
