yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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