I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need to align my fucking chakras
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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