I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Pants are for mortals
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
