The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
