its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
