I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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