If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
