I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
