There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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