Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sobbing to NWA
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
