So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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