Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Two words: blizzard sex
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
