I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
