My friends, they love my intelligence
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize