I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
