so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
