We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
