His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This toilet bowl is my home.
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