I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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