we're chasing vodka with high fives
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
