i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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