Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad http://tfl.nu/uv9f
  Replies (21) Good night (1539) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'? http://tfl.nu/gncd
  Replies (14) Good night (4933) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'. http://tfl.nu/zxab
  Replies (54) Good night (1856) Bad night (9921)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets". http://tfl.nu/hqdk
  Replies (15) Good night (8710) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now. http://tfl.nu/dr20
  Replies (14) Good night (3928) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/zv6d
  Replies (6) Good night (5890) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism. http://tfl.nu/aavm
  Replies (28) Good night (5423) Bad night (1680)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning http://tfl.nu/rq6u
  Replies (16) Good night (3927) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night. http://tfl.nu/uc8q
  Replies (5) Good night (7121) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage http://tfl.nu/22pw
  Replies (8) Good night (3765) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo http://tfl.nu/o3pc
  Replies (11) Good night (2178) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem http://tfl.nu/va1i
  Replies (10) Good night (1645) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis http://tfl.nu/fz62
  Replies (6) Good night (2242) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting. http://tfl.nu/cxg1
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (1589)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/rhvf
  Replies (23) Good night (2064) Bad night (574)

Randomize