Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
