Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.

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  (512): I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself. (519): If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey. http://tfl.nu/1rre
  Replies (158) Good night (1601) Bad night (992)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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  (814): I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave. http://tfl.nu/ropw
  Replies (2) Good night (1524) Bad night (735)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  and you said cock pushups were impossible

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  (705): and you said cock pushups were impossible http://tfl.nu/k08s
  Replies (9) Good night (3435) Bad night (559)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves

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  (503): I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves http://tfl.nu/4g59
  Replies (25) Good night (5573) Bad night (662)
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  (916): View more from California

  I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting

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  (916): I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting http://tfl.nu/umsk
  Replies (18) Good night (1232) Bad night (3591)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.

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  (502): bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story. http://tfl.nu/l5v1
  Replies (8) Good night (6319) Bad night (953)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.

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  (914): He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew. http://tfl.nu/v7c1
  Replies (7) Good night (4165) Bad night (1088)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"

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  (914): Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl" http://tfl.nu/cqzd
  Replies (12) Good night (2477) Bad night (1223)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood

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  (617): False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood http://tfl.nu/hdoi
  Replies (5) Good night (2924) Bad night (1009)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.

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  (678): We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward. http://tfl.nu/10ml
  Replies (3) Good night (911) Bad night (2305)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!

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  (419): So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me! http://tfl.nu/6u48
  Replies (8) Good night (901) Bad night (361)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control

  (737): View more from Texas

  we are the apple cider girls!

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  (512): So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control (737): we are the apple cider girls! http://tfl.nu/izwd
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (261)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.

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  (620): What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself. http://tfl.nu/i9qu
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed

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  (517): I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed http://tfl.nu/w2px
  Replies (4) Good night (293) Bad night (596)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm

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  (702): I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm http://tfl.nu/49j9
  Replies (4) Good night (215) Bad night (662)

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