How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me