I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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