Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
