Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
