i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
