Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
