It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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