Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We are two peas in an std pod
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
