check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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