I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
