I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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