and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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