i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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