3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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